Saturday, September 11, 2010

Anti-Ante-Natal

So, I went to one of the post-natal mother's meetings yesterday.  I'd been once before, and should have learned from my first experience.  I'm not sure why I dislike them so much.  I think I'm not very sociable to begin with, so walking into large groups where several conversations are going on at once around the table always stymies me a bit.   The way to 'join in' appears to be to make eye-contact with the speaker, but is that rude? It feels like just butting in, to me.  But the alternative is to sit, either staring at your lap, or off into space and wait to be invited, and that seems even worse.  After joining one conversation or another, I usually find that my attention drifts anyway, as it's hard to hear, what with all the other people jabbering, so I often find myself in the position of listening to one set of people while making intense eye-contact with another, which usually results in problems when the speaker in the second group meets my gaze and asks "So what do you reckon?"

And it's not like anyone talks about anything except their babies and their post-baby bodies (and yes, I acknowledge that this is totally hypocritical, given my main blog topic).  But it is slightly grating to hear mothers complaining about their child's developments with a proud twinkle: "I can't put little Ezekiel down anywhere now, as he's off like a shot".. or "Sophia just loves to stand at only 10 weeks - we've had to move all our breakables up to higher shelves!" .. or "Madison ate two pages of Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil, we've had to buy a waterproof copy, she loves it so much!"

And I look down at my bobble-headed boy (yes, STILL, at 12 weeks), who has spent the last 15 minutes trying to stuff both hands into his mouth, and has drooled so much that his entire top needs to be wrung out, and don't comment.  I think the most flattering thing anyone had to say about my Frog was that he was very "chilled".  But frankly, I think his fists muffled any crying he may or may not have been doing.  I have these visions of having to come with him to school and stand behind his desk, holding his head up.  Or apologising to the teacher: "He'd be more comfortable just lying on his back - oh, and if you could draw something bright with eyes on the blackboard? I think you'll find it'll hold his attention better..."

That said - at nearly 12 weeks, what Frog achievements do I have to relate?  He certainly appears to actually be grabbing at things more deliberately.  I found one new toy for him which is all wooden rods and beads and elastic, which had me intrigued for about 2 minutes, so I reckon it'll get a few months of attention from him.  It's structured in such a way as to be easy to grab and hold (intentionally or not), and several times the Frog has managed to grip a piece of the elastic, and then not been able to let go.  The result being that he's plagued by a giant colourful conglomeration of wooden rods which keeps swinging up to his face and poking him in the eye while he's trying to eat it.

He's still quite chatty, though not really exploring any new sounds, no matter how much I "ma-ma-maaa" and "bu-bu-buuu" at him.  We had a little exchange yesterday which went along the lines of:

Him: Nguuurrr

Me: Nguuuur!

Him: Nguuuuur

Me: Nguuur!

And so on.  You can see how cerebral we are already.

Anyway, he's just managed to get both hands tangled in the elastic of his new toy, so I'd best go assist before he also loses his legs to it in best Brer Rabbit and tar-baby fashion.

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