The midwife came by on Monday to have a look at the Frog's feeding abilities. She listened to my nipple confusion hypothesis, before shooting it down with a calm "I don't think it's that - it's pretty rare". She then proceeded to grab the little blighter by the scruff of his neck, and pressed him firmly onto a nipple. And the wretch didn't offer up a single squawk of complaint, but took it like a lamb (with less head-butting, fortunately). So, I've worked out that it's the attitude that matters - and I need to be going for 'no-nonsense', rather than 'wittering, dithering mess'.
Meanwhile, I've been happily swapping labour stories with various other people from the ante-natal class. I think I've finally worked out that the main benefit of ante-natal classes is that first-time parents can excitedly jabber on about their pregnancies, their deliveries and their new babies to one another, without having to inflict these stories on the general populace (thereby boring them into early rigor-mortis).